There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re the girlfriend than realizing you’re actually the side chick. Live by these rules and avoid the drama.
Worst Feeling Ever
There’s nothing worse than realizing you’re the side chick when you thought you were his girlfriend. Here’s how to make sure it never happens again.
Stop allowing him to come over to your house for “dates.”
We know your place or his may be cozy and comfy where you can let your hair down and watch “Netflix and chill” but the cons to this are, nobody ever sees you out in public. You are not diversifying your experiences together.
You don’t have to be available every time he calls.
We understand sometimes it gets lonely and you have developed feelings for this man. When the phone rings and that favorite photo of him that you have stored by his name appears, your face lights up and butterflies begin to flutter in your belly.
Develop some hobbies and interest.
When the phone does ring, it would be nice to actually be preoccupied with things you find interesting. The reason for this is two-fold: The first is to develop a level of scarcity so he understands there is life beyond him.
Share some of your interests and invite him in the mix.
Yes, ladies, it’s ok to ask a man out on a date or even bring some ideas to the table. Sometimes, you end up at the house because you’ve gotten comfortable and neither of you are bringing your dating A-game. Think about the memories you would like to create with him and write them down so when he suggests coming over, you can interject with, “ I would actually like to go to dinner or a show tonight. I have this cute little red dress I have been waiting to wear for you.” Get our drift.
When the conversations turns sexual, change it.
When his texting veers outside of your comfort zone, we encourage you to change the conversation and go in a different direction. Interject with topics that interest you and other fun conversation such as travel, concerts and movies until he gets the hint. The goal here is for sex not to be the focus of your relationship. Show him what else you’ve go.
Share your end game with him.
We believe you should be transparent and share with him that your ultimate goal is to be in a monogamous relationship and eventually married someday with a family of your own. You don’t have time to waste on someone who is not on the same sheet of music or rowing the same as you. If you are afraid you will run him off with this conversation, you would rather him run than waste your time.
Hold yourself to a higher standard.
Let’s face it, we teach people how to treat us. If you are confident, respect yourself and your body, all will fall in line and those who don’t, probably didn’t have the best intentions anyway.
Re-evaluate your relationship goals and dream again.
If you haven’t discovered it yet, life is short. Think about why you’re allowing this relationship to continue this way and what will change if you don’t step in and require more. As it stands today, what is his incentive to treat you any differently? What is your biggest fear? Is it that you will be alone forever? Is it that you’ve now invested so much time that it’s exhausting to think of starting over? We would encourage you to start dreaming again. Clear your mind and think about what you’ve always wanted in a relationship and even do a vision board with how you want your love life to look. Find the courage to seek out exactly what you want, whether that means requiring more of the one you’re with or eventually moving on.
Live your best life.
Overall we want our sisters to have fun dating and create memories with a deserving man as you live your best life. You’re beautiful, intelligent, and have a lot to offer so don’t be confined to the house as someone’s secret. Remember we’re rooting for you and you are the prize! For additional questions or coaching with The Matchmaking DUO please contact us at TheMatchmakingDuo.com. Here’s to LOVE!
